Last week I was scrolling Pinterest, pinning stained glass cakes for the 12 seasons, when I discovered a board I’d started several years ago called Home. As soon as I opened the board, I wrinkled my nose: I didn’t even like most of the rooms! They were dark, busy, and the architecture was nothing like the architecture of the house I actually live in.
I started ruthlessly deleting things. If I clicked on an image and saw a cluttered bookshelf that would stress me out in real life, I deleted it. If I wouldn’t decorate my house with the colors pictured, I deleted it. The further I went, the more it dawned on me that I had only pinned most of these images because they seemed like rooms that I SHOULD like. I thought they were attractive, but I didn’t want to personally live in them.
I love white surfaces, light wood, bright colors, and very little visual clutter. I love mosaic tile motifs, mermaids, cats, shells, and modern florals. So why did I save all these images of moody maximalist dining rooms? Why did I save so many images of tiny desks crammed with books, pottery, plants, and figurines - so cluttered that even opening a laptop would be impossible? Why did I save so many images of rooms dripping with houseplants when I know perfectly well that my cats eat plants and then throw them up on the floor? The end result was an inspiration board that not only didn’t inspire me, but actively stressed me out and clouded my vision of what I really wanted.
Home decor is a few degrees less intimate than the clothes we wear on our physical bodies. Looking at your style through this lens can create a little emotional distance, which allows us to be more honest with ourselves about our desires and motivations. When my clients first share their personal style boards with me, they’re often similar to my Home board: full of unrealistic outfits, images of women they want to look like, and styles that are all over the map, some of which they might not even truly like.
For example, if you’ve never felt comfortable in a moto jacket but you keep buying them or saving images of them online, it’s good to ask yourself why. Are you resonating with the style itself, or with a certain fabric, length, or design detail (like zippers or grommets)? Do you simply want to be the kind of person you think would wear a moto jacket?
If you’re someone who frequently lusts after beaded formalwear but you live a very casual lifestyle, it’s worth asking yourself how you can translate elements of that formalwear into your everyday life. Maybe a beaded bag or a beaded neckline would scratch the itch. Or maybe you need to create occasions to actually wear the beaded formalwear you love, like attending a charity gala or other formal event.
This is why I like my Soul Board method so much, which encourages you to separate what you think you should like (based on your body type, lifestyle, and personal coloring) from what actually resonates with you. Once you know what you actually like, you can reverse-engineer your style to reflect those elements in ways that are practical for your lifestyle. If you’re not familiar with my Soul Board approach, you can hear about it on this episode of the Chrysalis Colour podcast.
If you look around your closet and realize that you’ve been buying clothes for someone else all this time, don’t worry. I recommend making note of the pieces that you DO like, asking yourself what you like about them, and looking for those same elements in the future. If your whole closet feels like a wasteland, that’s okay, too. You can fix this! Wardrobes aren’t built in a day. They’re built piece by piece, and being honest with yourself about what you really like is the first step in ensuring that over time, you build a wardrobe that you love.