How to Thrive When Your Weight Fluctuates

One of the primary reasons women seek my help with their wardrobes is due to weight fluctuations. 

I've noticed that in many cases, women are actually fine with the size and shape of their bodies, whatever that size and shape may be...IF they have clothes they like and feel comfortable wearing.

When you've lost or gained a significant amount of weight, clothes fit differently. Maybe you feel like your old favorite silhouettes need a little tweaking, or you don't like them anymore at all. You may even conclude that the best solution is to simply grab something oversized and try to make peace with it.

No! Step away from the boxy sweaters!

Here are some of my quick tips for weathering weight fluctuations in your wardrobe:

1. If you know you're prone to weight fluctuations, store your clothes instead of decluttering them, just as you would with seasonal pieces. I wish I had kept more clothing from my various weight stages, particularly basics like jeans and tees. It's frustrating to be in a position of having to rebuy pieces you know you already had and liked, but have long since donated. Having to repeatedly shop for a whole new wardrobe is stressful, and keeping at least a small selection of clothes for various sizes can reduce the emotional toll around weight changes. 

2. Honor your body's current size. It's not always possible or desirable to splash out on a brand new luxury wardrobe every time you've gained or lost weight. That's partly where tip #1 comes in. But that doesn't mean you should settle for clothes you don't really like, either. Honor your body's current size by choosing clothing in colors, cuts, and fabrics you enjoy. Choose pieces that fit your body at the size it is NOW. If you order a dress, try it on, and immediately think, "This would fit great if I lost 10 pounds," it's not a keeper! Who knows if you will ever lose those 10 pounds? Save your money for pieces that fit your body now.

3. Embrace a (temporary) capsule wardrobe. If you've historically had a larger wardrobe, especially one you really loved and were excited by, it can be depressing to think about rebuilding it from scratch with clothes that suit your new weight. Instead, focus on your creme de la creme. What are the pieces you absolutely need and want in order to feel your best? What colors do you want to see? Don't stress yourself out trying to recapture the glory of your previous wardrobe in a month, or even in 6 months. Start with a capsule wardrobe of favorites, and build from there. And remember - don't get rid of all your own clothes! You may be that size again in the future. 

4. Remember that great style has no size. You can look fantastic without ever gaining or losing a single pound. Think about the styles you like the look of on your body, at various weights. Think about the colors you like to wear. Think about what you feel comfortable in. Think about what makes you feel like yourself. Many people weather weight changes by adopting short-term wardrobes that don't resonate with who they are or what they want to communicate with their clothes - and sometimes these short-term wardrobes last much longer than you thought they would. You are worthy of a wardrobe you love.

Introducing: Soul Board + Style Catchphrase Sessions

For several years now, I’ve used a unique digital mood-boarding method with my style coaching clients: the Soul Board. This method involves a deep dive into what speaks to your heart and soul on a visual level, regardless of your personal coloring or body type. Using my creative eye, I then help you translate those soul desires into actionable, real-world aesthetic guidance.

We’re more complicated creatures than simply our season and archetype combinations, and incorporating distinctive facets of your personality into your clothing and accessories is what makes your style truly sparkle.

Previously available only to my longer-term coaching clients, this service is now available as a standalone consultation with me.

Along with analyzing your Soul Board, I’ll help you create a style catchphrase and accompanying style keywords to guide you on your personal style journey.

After our session together, you will also receive a detailed write-up of everything we talked about, so you can stay inspired long into the future.

If you’d like to learn more about my Soul Board method, you can listen to my guest episode of the Chrysalis Colour podcast here.

The Sultry Soft Summer

This piece was originally posted in January 2015. Here it is again, very true to the original. I intend to revive this series for all twelve seasons as the mood strikes.

Every season suffers from stereotyping, some more than others. True Winter is the Ice Queen, Light Summer is Easter pastels, Dark Autumn is a smoldering tigress, and Soft Summer, well...if there's one season I'm always reluctant to determine a client, it's Soft Summer. Because no matter how luminous, how stunning, how sexy a Soft Summer looks in her colors, she almost invariably thinks, "I will be forced to wear dusty mauve - and only dusty mauve - for the rest of my life."

In this series, it is my intent to showcase lesser-seen sides of the 12 seasons: the sunny True Winter, the bold Light Spring, the ethereal Dark Autumn. And where better to start than Soft Summer?

Show any online group a fairly muted, boring garment and ask them to determine its season. Nine times out of ten, they'll answer "Soft Summer." In reality, that garment may fall into another season, or be too muted to truly flatter almost anyone. Soft Summer is the darkest of the Summer seasons, smoky and mysterious, but the colors are also quite vibrant.

However: a Soft Summer palette will look dusty when compared to a higher-chroma palette or garment. That's why it is so important to wear the colors that harmonize with your own coloring. Otherwise, you're the Soft Summer looking dusty in Bright Winter colors. Your clothing and makeup will walk in the room two days before you do. When you wear the colors that harmonize with your body, a mutual lifting-up occurs.

As an analyst, here's what goes through my mind when I think of Soft Summer:

Blackberry sherbet. Lamb's Ear. Crushed velvet. The evening sea rippling like dark ink against the shore. Lavender macarons. Charcoal tweed. Creamy white magnolia flowers, brushed with the barest whisper of pink. Gray wolves. Beaded ball gowns in shimmering taupe, raspberry, teal. Morning mist. Smoky tabbies. Men wearing navy linen. Sage. Dragonflies with iridescent wings. Slate. Celadon dishware. Venetian canals at twilight.

Sound boring? I didn't think so.

One of Soft Summer's biggest strengths is the unfettered potential for color combinations. Provided an outfit makes sense stylistically, you can cram as many Soft Summer colors into it as you like, without worrying that you'll look like there was an explosion in the Crayola Factory. This is a quality very particular to the Soft seasons. Other seasons can combine their colors well, of course, sometimes quite a few of them, but the Soft seasons are particularly enhanced by doing so.

Whether you've just been draped Soft Summer or you've been living in the season for a decade, here are some practical ways to infuse your appearance with some sultry appeal:

• Back away from gray. Gray is easy for Summers to wear and can quickly overtake your closet. Take care to purchase other neutrals as well. Smoky navy, burgundy, and aubergine make lovely neutrals, just be careful not to move into too-saturated territory.

• When you do purchase gray, look for unique color casts instead of the ubiquitous “sweatpants gray.” Grays that shift toward green, lavender, taupe, pink, or blue will add interest to your outfits.

• Soft Summer is a Cool-Neutral season, but the key word is neutral. When selecting jewelry, consider rose gold and muted yellow gold in addition to silver-toned metals. Combining warm and cool tones in a single piece can be even better, as the warm and cool tones will play off of one another. This necklace is a beautiful example of a warmer stone with a cooler metal.

• Remember to play with various types of contrast. While Soft Summer’s colors are muted, they are not one-note. Within your season, you will find contrast between warm and cool, light and dark, soft and vivid. This contrast will bring your makeup and outfits to life.

• Don't live in monochrome. Combine those colors! A cold-weather look could include a smoky burgundy sweater, stony taupe pants, a navy crossbody, sage earrings, marsala nail polish, and rose velvet loafers. All of these soft sumptuous colors together create arresting synergy.

  A Mini Makeup List:

• Eyeshadow: Laura Mercier Plum Smoke, MAC Yogurt, MAC Quarry, Rom&nd Better Than Eyes palette in Dry Violet, Stila Shimmer & Glow Liquid Shadow in Cloud

• Eyeliner: Pixi Rose Glow, Pixi Matte Mulberry, Urban Decay Smoke

• Blush: Clinique Black Honey Pop, Clinique Cupid, Fenty Cheeks Out Cream Blush in Cool Berry, NARS Sin, Tarte Blushing Bride

• Lips: Bobbi Brown Give a Fig, Bobbi Brown Italian Rose, Clinique Black Honey, Etude House Water Gel Tint in Red Bean Red, NYX Butter Gloss in Angel Food Cake

  For more inspiration, check out my Soft Summer Pinterest board.

4 Ways to Look More Polished No Matter What You're Wearing

Style and poise aren't just about clothes. Sometimes, it's the little things that can tarnish the splendor of an otherwise awesome outfit, or add elegance to dressed-down pieces. Here are five of my favorite tips for looking a little more put-together, no matter what you're wearing:

1. Take care of your hands and nails. Clean, manicured nails communicate that you care for yourself. Your nails don't have to be lavishly painted, gelled, or decked out with nail designs, but keeping them nicely groomed is a must. As a recovering nail biter and cuticle picker, I’ve personally found that if my nails are painted, they’re not only less likely to break or chip, but I’m much less likely to pick at them. This tip has made a huge difference to my overall appearance, and I now frequently receive compliments on my hands and nails.

I prefer the look of regular nail polish, so I have a small collection of colors that I love, as well as a go-to quick-dry top coat to make the process quick and easy. When my nails aren't painted with a color, I use a strengthening clear coat like OPI Nail Envy. If you like press-on nails, there are so many amazing options now at varying price points. And if you prefer to go to a salon, just keep your appointments regular, to avoid messily grown-out gel or polish. Regular use of cuticle oil and hand cream will keep your cuticles from drying out and tearing.

2. A good skincare routine. "Good" doesn’t necessarily mean complicated or expensive. For many, the best skincare routine is boring: cleanser, moisturizer, and sunscreen. For anti-aging, prescription tretinoin is known as the gold standard, but it also has side effects, so consult your dermatologist. If you're acne-prone or have other skin issues, you may choose to judiciously add actives like azelaic acid (my personal fave), salicylic acid, or vitamin C.  Doing too much can sometimes be worse for your skin than doing too little, so keep it simple, be patient adding products to your routine, wear sunscreen daily, and don't pick at your skin.

3. Wear colorful makeup. You don’t need a full face of makeup to look great. A little concealer, groomed brows, and some color on the cheeks and lips - even if just a sheer tint - are great. Contrast is one of the visual markers of youth, so bringing a little color onto your face will look more fresh and modern than an overly-nude look, which can dull the features. If you’re a makeup minimalist, many liquid and cream blushes can pull double-duty for cheeks and lips, providing maximum color impact with minimum product investment.

4. Choose a hairstyle you’re willing to maintain. Uneven layers, poor dye jobs, and split ends instantly drag down your look. Get regular trims, and work to find a hairstyle that flatters your face shape. Make sure that whatever hairstyle you choose, you’re willing to keep up with it. If you look great in the salon when your hair is freshly styled but you know you’re never going to replicate the look at home, opt for a style with simpler daily upkeep instead.

Bonus:

Plan your outfits in advance. Trying on different outfit combinations will help you troubleshoot potential issues, identify wardrobe gaps, and save time in the future.